Twenty Five August 8, 2011

They say the older you get life speeds up and time passes more quickly. Mine slowed down.

I imagine myself in a bubble created by my experiences and the theme song featuring my life (as of late) to be: Moby’s “The New World”.

All the mistakes I made are starring me in the eyes and I try to reflect on each one, only to find out that I no longer know the person that committed each one of them.

I don’t mind playing the “what if” game and replaying choices I’ve made and imagining what could have been, but only to prepare myself for making better choices in the future.

Wonderland August 5, 2011

Have you ever tried to clear your head and start over?

Step 1: I know nothing. All I know is that there is an entity which is “I” and it breaths. I don’t know how but I know that it does.

Step 2: There is a separate entity that’s out there which I call “World”.

Step 3: I use my senses and mind as interfaces to interact between the entity that is “I” and the “World”.

Step 4: Are my senses 100% reliable? I examined the response to this question for hours and perhaps days and I reached the conclusion that my senses are unreliable. My eyes have deceived me in the past and so have my other senses.

Step 5: If my interactions/communications with the world through my senses cannot be trusted, then what is reality?

Step 6: This concept leaves me with the curious thought of an alternate reality. A wonderland that perhaps encompasses the “truth”.

Step 7: What is the ultimate truth? Lets refer back to the entity that was “I”. Who is “I”? Or more simply, who am I? Not the “I” that is Ramona, dark haired, olive skinned and female, but the real Me.

Step 8: I may know all that encompasses my world, my experiences and my life but the depth of understanding the “I” that questions existence and being is relative to the ultimate truth.

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